That Time of Year
by Fernin
Summary: Braeburn makes the mistake of coming to Ponyville at AJ's request. Should have checked the calendar first, big guy. NOTE: sexual situations, swearing, & furry versions of characters- cos ya can't tear the clothes off something that doesn't wear any! lol


**That Time of Year**

_A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfic_

_By Fernin_

_You know the drill. Blah blah Faust blah blah Hasbro blah blah none of these things are mine._

_Oh and look out, because these are furry versions of the characters. Why? 'Cos you can't tear clothes off something that doesn't wear 'em! Ho ho ho._

_Note: No actual sex depicted within; but there is some swearing._

* * *

"…And with Chief Thunderhooves and his kin are being downright neighborly nowadays, things in Appleoosa couldn't be better!" Braeburn finished, grinning to the conductor.

"Uh-huh." The conductor peered out of the window of the train, watching the Ponyville train station loom larger as the steam engine's puffing, wheezing gasps began to slow and the train's brakes hissed and squealed. The sound usually annoyed the conductor, but today the gold-colored stallion was more than happy to have them drown out the words of the most talkative passenger he'd ever had the misfortune to meet.

Braeburn winced at the metallic squeals of the braking train and pitched his voice a bit louder to compensate. It would be too bad if the conductor didn't hear the end of the story. "Aaaanyway, so when mah cousin Applejack sent me that ticket and a letter inviting me to visit Sweet Apple Acres again, Ah finally had the time to take her up on her hospitality!"

"Uh-huh. Say, son, I think this is your stop, right?" muttered the conductor, his ears flicking irritably. The sooner he was rid of this annoyance, the better.

"Why so it is!" Hefting his bag, Braeburn tipped his wide-brimmed hat to his one-pony audience and grinned. "Thank ya kindly!"

As soon as the train ground to a halt, Braeburn started for the door- and was nearly bowled over by the flood of passengers coming on. The muscular stallion fought against the sudden tide, trying to stay upright as pony after pony shoved by him and piled into the car. They were shouting all at once, with only a few cries audible over the general din. One stallion glanced over his shoulder and he rushed past the confused Appleoosan, shouting, "Hurry!"

"Whoa there!" said Braeburn as he raised his arm, trying to arrest one of the near-panicked boarders. "What's the trouble, friend?"

"She's coming! Let's get the buck out of here!" shrilled the stallion, ducking under Braeburn's arm and practically tackling the conductor in his haste to get on the train. It was obvious that the Appleoosan pony wasn't going to be getting answers out of anypony coming onto the train from Ponyville.

It was several confused moments before Braeburn managed to wade his way through the teeming mass of would-be passengers. When he finally had his hooves on solid ground- or at least, on the wooden platform running along the train tracks- he looked back at the now-overcrowded train in puzzlement. Ponies were packed into the cars tight as canned carrots, with more clinging to the running board or even climbing onto the roof of the passenger cars.

The gold-pelted stallion shook his head ruefully. "Ah don't remember it being this bad the last time Ah was here. What it is with all these big city folk, always in such a hurry. "

As if to underscore the frontierspony's point, the engineer tugged on the whistle and nearly burst the eardrums of everypony in hearing range with two loud blasts of screaming steam. The locomotive's wheels began to spin and the entire train lurched once more into motion. Somehow the train was going almost full speed within seconds, seeming almost to blur as it raced down the track.

Braeburn snorted in disgust and turned away to look for the welcoming committee that was surely waiting for him. He chuckled, remembering the show he'd put on for Applejack and her friends. The looks on their faces at the way he'd said, 'welcome to Aaaaaaaaappleoosa!' repeatedly still brought a smile to his face. Sticking his hands in his pockets, the stallion sauntered across the platform in search of anypony waiting for him. "Ah wonder what ol' AJ has planned for me."

As it turned out, the answer was 'nothing.' Braeburn's ears turned this way and that, trying to pick up any sounds in an apparently deserted train station. This was almost eerie. It was like one of those two-bit novels he'd read when he was a colt, where somepony accidentally walked into a ghost town without a soul around. Well, without a _living_ soul… Suppressing a shiver at the thought, the earth pony cleared his throat. "Hello? Anypony around?"

There was no answer. Since it was obvious that Braeburn was the only one around, he wasn't sure what he would have done if he'd gotten an answer anyway. Scream like a little filly and run as fast as his hooves could take him, most likely. He shrugged. Well, maybe whatever AJ had planned was a surprise, and everypony was waiting for him somewhere in town. Whistling tunelessly, the Appleoosan trotted slowly away from the train station and towards the center of Ponyville. Surely there'd be somepony to talk to somewhere around here.

A few minutes' journey revealed that the rest the town was as deserted as the train station. With hackles raised, Braeburn glanced around, resisting the urge to jump at every unexpected noise. Sometimes, he was sure he heard faint gasps or giggling. This was creepy as… as… well, as a really creepy thing. Every door was closed. Every window was shuttered. It was as if the entire town of Ponyville had decided as one to take a long vacation and they'd forgotten to leave a note.

To make matters worse, something about the place was setting Braeburn's teeth on edge. Well, besides the obvious of, 'place seems to be abandoned.' There was a certain texture to the air, a feeling just on the edge of perception. He couldn't quite-

The crunch of a hoof-fall behind the stallion made him whirl, heart pounding nearly out of his chest. He relaxed instantly. There, peering out from the edge of a building, was a familiar pink-maned mare. Braeburn tipped his hat politely. "Why howdy, Miss Fluttershy. Beautiful day, ain't it?"

"Oh, yes…" Fluttershy whispered, her fingers drumming on the side of the building. She came out from behind the wall, hesitantly moving closer to the smiling stallion. She was wearing a fetching green dress, but Braeburn tried to ignore how nicely she filled it. After all, this was one of his cousin's friends. She was practically family.

"Ah don't suppose you would know why everypony seems to be missing, would ya?" Braeburn asked. It wasn't really polite to jump straight into the heart of the matter, but the barren streets of Ponyville had him rattled. He glanced around, hoping that the shy pegasus was only the first of many citizens to appear and the town would soon be brimming reassuringly with life once more.

"Well I think it's because…" the mare started, but quickly trailed off into inaudibility. She lowered her head a bit, seeming to direct Braeburn's attention to- the stallion wrenched his eyes back up. Sweet Celestia, she was huge- two handfuls at least, and…

Good gravy, what had Braeburn so bothered that he was thinking about a thing like that at a time like this? The earth pony made a mental note to get a nice, cold bath at Sweet Apple Acres. And soon. He'd spent all day cooped up in that darned train, and the lack of exercise was obviously doing strange things to his mind. He- oh wait, Fluttershy had said something. "Ah'm sorry, Ah didn't hear that. Could ya say that again, Miss Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy took a few more steps forward, now only an arm's length away from the puzzled and distracted Braeburn. She smiled sweetly, her nostrils flaring as she took in the male's scent. "Um… Braeburn? You don't have… a special somepony, do you?"

The stallion blinked. That was sort of an odd thing to bring up out in the street, wasn't it? "Uh, not at the moment, Miss. Ah just haven't found the time what with all the work that needs doing out in Appleoosa, and…"

Braeburn trailed off. Alarm bells were jangling in his head as he finally saw the signs. It was amazing that he hadn't noticed it before, but now that it was staring him in the face- now that _she_ was staring him in… The earth pony coughed uncomfortably as Fluttershy's long, pink tongue came out. She licked her lips, staring down contemplatively at something no decent mare should be caught looking at in public. The farmer groaned. "Ah, hell. Y'all are in Season, ain't ya."

"Yes," purred Fluttershy, a glassy-eyed and smiling look on her face as she neared her target.

"Now, just a tic, Miss. Ah admit you're a fine filly, but Ah can't go doing… things… with mah cousin's friends just like that." Braeburn found himself taking a few steps back as the pegasus mare continued her advance. He glanced around to see if anypony else had appeared. Unfortunately, they had.

Fluttershy giggled, her delicate fingers working on the fastenings of her dress. When it started to slip down to reveal shapely yellow curves, Braeburn took a ragged breath and averted his eyes. Any more of this and he was going to be walking funny for a week, cold bath or no. He looked desperately for anything to take his mind off the beauty before him- and jerked in surprise.

The streets of Ponyville were once again coming alive- but it was with a very very specific sort of life. Female life. Dozens of hungry-eyed mares of all shapes and sizes had appeared from every hiding place. And they were all looking at the lone earth pony stallion, fresh off the train from Appleoosa and very VERY unattached.

It occurred to Braeburn that all the desperate passengers piling onto the train had been males. It further occurred to him that, in fact, Ponyville had _long_ had a problem with its very skewed female-to-male gender ratio… Hadn't cousin Apple Crisp brought that up during the last family reunion? Now, no doubt, all the unattached males were gone save for the foolhardy few who thought grasping a piece of heaven was worth the heavy cost of a month of enforced bed rest due to exhaustion. And Braeburn was, like it or not, one of those. He whimpered. "Oh, _fuck_ me…"

The massed females laughed. Fluttershy smiled sweetly. "Yes, Mr. Braeburn… We will."

Braeburn's breath caught in his throat as the assembled mares' clothing began to slide from their lithe forms. There was something for everypony- thin and athletic; plump and lovable; stunningly voluptuous… There were unicorns, and earth mares, and even pegasus ponies with their wings already stiffening as they advanced on what was probably the only male within a twelve-block radius. The stallion was staring at a veritable buffet of mareflesh, all ripe for the taking...

"Anope!" Shaking the pheromone-induced thoughts from his mind, Braeburn clamped his hat firmly on his head and started to run. He had to get out of here. He still had twinges in his hip from that time three years ago when he'd stuck around Dodge Junction for _their_ Season. That had been a mistake, and the earth pony didn't intend on repeating it here in his cousin's hometown.

Terrible, frustrated screams of rage erupted all around Braeburn as he sprinted through the crowd, gasping out apologies and trying desperately to avoid hurting anypony. The loudest cry of all came from Fluttershy as the fleeing stallion ducked and dodged his way to freedom. "NO! COME BACK! YOU'RE GOING TO **LOVE MEEEEE!**"

* * *

Braeburn ran. He ran with but one goal in mind: waking up tomorrow with un-fractured hips. The journey didn't matter, only the destination. He would be safe with Applejack. The stallion glanced back and for once was grateful of the mares' fever pitch of arousal- without their heat-stiffened wings, the pegasus mares would likely already have brought him down, and the unicorns' magic would have been coherent enough to hold him fast instead of simply dragging at him like clinging brambles as he fled.

Sweet Apple Acres was right up ahead. Braeburn almost cried in relief as he headed for the fence, shouting for his cousin as he went. "Applejack! APPLEJACK! Help! Ah've got a whole mess of 'em on mah tail!"

As if on cue, Applejack peered out a second story window, her ears flat against her skull as she stared down at the pack of mares chasing her cousin onto her farm. "Hang on, Braeburn! We're coming!"

The door to the house opened as Braeburn thundered up the steps. He dove inside and Apple Bloom slammed it shut behind him, dropping a bar across and securing it in place. The door bent inward as a few overenthusiastic ponies slammed against it. The winded stallion picked himself up and dusted himself off, wheezing to catch his breath. "T-thanks… Apple Bloom."

Apple Bloom grinned. "How was that, cousin Braeburn? Cutie Mark Crusaders, Dramatic Rescuers!"

Braeburn stared in mute incomprehension at the proclamation but quickly averted his eyes as the little filly circled herself, lifting her skirt slightly to check her flanks. She made a disappointed sound and stomped one hoof irritably. "Aw, ponyfeathers. Nothing."

"Language, AB. Little fillies shouldn't say things like that." Applejack frowned disapprovingly as she trotted down the stairs.

Apple Bloom's lower lip pushed out in a pout. "Aw, but Sis-"

"No buts. Now run along upstairs and see to Big Mac." Applejack watched her sister as the quietly complaining filly scampered up the stairs and out of sight.

"Howdy, Cousin! Thanks for the save," said Braeburn, respectfully tipping his hat. "Ah would have been a good deal more sore than Ah am now if y'all hadn't saved me."

Applejack shook her head sadly. "Do tell. Why, last year those hussies from the town caught Big Mac. He was useless for a month. and Ah had to do just about half of Sweet Apple Acres alone before mah friends came and helped out. Ah don't propose to have it happen again this year."

"Speakin' of Big Red, where's Macintosh at?" Braeburn asked. He glanced at the boarded up windows. They rattled as angry, lust-fueled fists beat against the outer defenses of the house-turned-bunker.

"Oh, right where Ah left him, trussed up in his bedroom to make sure he doesn't do something silly." Applejack stalked forward, sliding a looped rope off her shoulder and examining her fortifications.

"How are y'all doing out there?" the earth mare called cheerfully to the shouting females outside.

"Applejack, you selfish bitch!" snarled one mare. It was easy to imagine her frothing at the mouth with every growling word. "Are you going to keep ALL the Apples for yourself?"

Braeburn shifted uneasily, eyeing Applejack. She was coiling and uncoiling the rope almost unconsciously in her hands and something she'd said didn't sit right with him. Surely she'd been joking about Big Mac being tied up. Right…?

The stallion had his answer momentarily when AJ's rope suddenly flew through the air, looping around his chest and pinning his arms to his sides. "What the-?"

Reeling Braeburn in like a lassoed bull, Applejack grinned apologetically. "Ah'm sorry about this, Cousin. But those mares out there are liable to tear the house right down to get at mah big brother. And like Ah said, Ah don't propose to have that happen again this year."

"Ya brought me to Ponyville for _this?_ " Braeburn growled, struggling against the rope as horrible realization dawned. The timing of the letter had been terribly convenient but he would never have thought that cousin AJ would actually have stooped so low. And yet she had. "Ah thought you were the Element of Honesty!"

Applejack grunted as she dragged the unwilling Braeburn towards the door. "Ah am! Ah invited you- ugh- to come here and said Ah thought you could really- stop struggling- enjoy yerself! Ah said Ponyville is beautiful this time o' year. Ah said all the townsfolk are real friendly! Ah said we'd all be really happy to see you! Now you tell me what part o' that is a lie!"

"The part where you didn't say that- unf!" Braeburn's accusations were suddenly cut off as Applejack opened the door, kicked him out, and slammed it shut again in one fluid movement. The stallion looked up into the eyes of a dozen suddenly very happy mares.

"He's all yours! Just leave mah brother alone!" Applejack shouted through the door.

Braeburn shuddered and struggled harder as the females neared him, remembering all those days laid up with certain parts of him numb and other parts practically on fire. He jerked as the first one touched him. A gentle hand caressed his prone form, stroking carefully down his side. More joined the first, dancing lightly across his sweat-soaked clothing and pressing against the bunched and burning muscles beneath. They were… giving him a massage?

Despite his fears, Braeburn felt himself start to relax. Maybe things were different here in the more civilized Ponyville—not like the rough and tumble Dodge Junction (emphasis on 'rough'). The mares here probably knew how to pace themselves, how to be proper and— _riiiip!_

Smiling dreamily, a light orange-pelted earth mare with a curly mane cascading down her shoulders tossed aside the torn remnants of Braeburn's pants. She cooed appreciatively at the stallion's exposed flesh. A chorus of giggles from the other girls was all warning Braeburn had before they fell upon him. Some tore away more clothing, adding insult to injury. Some took the opportunity to grope him mercilessly. Howling in humiliation, the earth pony struggled and bucked under the combined weight of the females. "Ah've had… just… about… **ENOUGH!**"

Braeburn erupted upward with mares tumbling off him in every direction, surging up like some ancient leviathan from the deep. He stared down and blushed even more hotly than before. Grabbing his hat, the nearly nude stallion rammed it onto his head and took off running again. That was a little har—a little _more difficult_—now, but the surge of adrenaline and other, baser hormones in his system made up for any… issues… caused by recent events.

Braeburn fled, galloping through the orchard with several persistent mares still hot on his tail. He seemed to have lost the majority of the pack—mostly the unicorns and pegasus ponies—but the ever-vigorous earth pony mares behind him remained. They were in for the long haul.

Leaping a hedge, Braeburn found himself on unfamiliar ground. The long, ordered rows of the apple orchard gave way to thick, clinging underbrush and the gnarled trunks of closely packed trees. The sounds of pursuit seemed to be slackening now. Was the stallion safe? Or had he run into greater danger, danger great enough that even mares drunk on their own pheromones were unwilling to follow him?

Whatever it was, it couldn't possibly be as bad as what awaited Braeburn back at Ponyville if he let those fillies get their hands on him. Gritting his teeth, the stallion ran on and tried to ignore the growing stich in his side. He'd run for a bit longer, and then stop and listen. Maybe he could take a break—he certainly needed one after the day he'd had.

Vicious thorns and clinging nettles lashed at Braeburn's recently bared flesh as he jogged onward. His ears rotated like miniature RADAR dishes, trying to pick up any signs of those hunting him. A stick snapped behind him. Still running, he looked over his shoulder. There was nothing there. The stallion straightened forward again, picking up speed. There was a clearing up ahead; if somepony was still following him, he could see her when she left the underbrush.

Braeburn took another step—and realized that he wasn't running up to the edge of a clearing at all. Oh, it was clear of trees all right… but it wasn't an open field. It was the edge of a deep ravine. "Oh _fu—!_"

* * *

When Braeburn regained consciousness, pain was surprisingly absent from his world. He could remember striking rocks and scraping against gravel and grasping branches as he tumbled down the slope, and then… And then he was here. Wherever 'here' was.

The earth pony stiffened as he heard soft, happy humming coming from across the room. Soft, happy, _feminine_ humming. Oh, goddess. He struggled to sit up and groaned, collapsing back to the mattress. Ah, _there_ was the expected pain.

"Please stay still, my honored guest. To help you heal that would be best," murmured a voice as smooth as silk. A brown-robed mare with an oddly varied pelt looked up from a bubbling cauldron and smiled at Braeburn. Light flashed oddly in her strikingly turquoise eyes, and the stallion felt himself relax. She seemed much calmer than anypony else he'd seen today. What was she? _Who_ was she? He opened his mouth to ask—

"I see the question on your face," commented the mare, waving one hand languidly to herself in introduction. "Zecora, of the zebra race."

"Ah've… huh. Ah've never met a zebra before." It was amazing how soft the bedding was. Braeburn stayed still as ordered and felt the pain ebbing away. Somepony—Zecora most likely—had bandaged his wounds and plastered his numerous cuts with some kind of salve. The abraded skin still burned slightly, but the sensation was almost pleasant.

"Your accent is not new to me… You're from the Apple family?" The striped mare raised the stirring spoon to her lips and tasted the brew contemplatively for a moment. Shaking her head, she poured green fluid into the pot and stirred some more.

Braeburn lay silently, enjoying the quiet and the alternately intriguing and mouthwatering smells bubbling up from the zebra's cauldron. It occurred to him that he was being rather rude. "Uh… Yes'm. Ah'm Braeburn, Applejack's cousin. Ah live in Appleoosa and we've got a nice orchard growing there now. Er… Thank ya kindly for helping me. Ah don't know how to repay yer kindness."

"Please keep your thanks, there is no need. Cries for help I'll always heed," Zecora said with a shrug. Even her shrug was graceful as she—

No! Braeburn gritted his teeth. The pheromones of those stupid mares from Ponyville must still be in his system. He concentrated on the smell of Zecora's cooking, if cooking it was. The gently bubbling brew calmed him until finally he felt ready to speak. "Well, Ah thank ya anyway. Um, Miss Zecora? If ya don't mind mah asking, ya aren't feeling… funny are ya? With me being here?"

Zecora chuckled, her voice chiming musically as she rounded the cauldron and approached her patient. "A life in the forest is lonely, it's true. But skilled herbalists always know what to do. We brew soothing potions 'fore reason expires as pheromones kindle the hottest of fires."

"Uh-huh…" Braeburn parsed the zebra's couplets carefully. It took a bit of getting used to, but the constant rhyming made her voice almost lyrical. "So ya don't have to worry about the Season? Er, pardon mah language."

The zebra seemed to think. Zecora leaned close to the prone earth stallion, nostrils flaring as she breathed in his musk. She purred, a smile coming to her lips. "Well, now that I find ponyflesh in my bed… I fear, my dear stallion, you've gone to my head."

Braeburn gasped as the soft brown folds of Zecora's robe slipped slowly from her shoulders and down to the floor. Her voice sent a shiver of anticipation down the pony's spine as she whispered in his ear. "While first I intended to treat you with tea, perhaps I should cure that which ails you… with me?"

* * *

**A/N:**_Why yes. Yes I DID just go through an entire story about mares going into heat and never actually have any sex or explicitly described nudity. MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! ...But yeah I felt it was funnier this way, and humor was the goal of this story. Also as previously stated, southern accents and zebra rhyming. Two great things EVEN BETTER TOGETHER._


End file.
